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Volume III - Number 3
Volume III - Number 3
Autumnal Equinox, 1988
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law
As to a Veil They Broke
Excerpted from Jurgen by James Branch Cabell
(Copyright (c) 1919, 1928 by James Branch Cabell)
Thence Jurgen came with Anaitis into a white room, with copper plaques upon the walls, and there four girls were heating water in a brass tripod. They bathed Jurgen, giving him astonishing caresses meanwhile, - with the tongue, the hair, the finger-nails, and the tips of the breasts, - and they anointed him with four oils, then dressed him again in his glittering shirt. Of Caliburn, said Anaitis, there was no present need: so Jurgen's sword was hung upon the wall.
These girls brought silver bowls containing wine mixed with honey, and they brought pomegranates and eggs and barleycorn, and triangular red- colored loaves, whereon with formal gestures they sprinkled sweet-smelling little seeds. Then Anaitis and Jurgen broke their fast, eating together while the four girls served them.
"And now," says Jurgen, "and now, my dear, I would suggest that we enter into the pursuit of those curious pleasures about which you were recently telling me."
"I am very willing," responded Anaitis, "since there is no one of these pleasures but is purchased by some diversion of man's nature. Yet first, as I need hardly inform you, there is a ceremonial to be observed." "And what, pray, is this ceremonial?" "Why, we call it the
Breaking of the Veil." And Queen Anaitis explained what they must do.
"Well," says Jurgen, "I am willing to taste any drink once." So Anaitis led Jurgen into a sort of chapel, adorned with very unchurchlike paintings. There were four shrines, dedicated severally to St. Cosmo, to St. Damianus, to St. Guignole of Brest, and to St. Foutin de Varailles. In this chapel were a hooded man, clothed in long garments that were striped with white and yellow, and two naked children, both girls. One of the children carried a censer: the other held in one hand a vividly blue pitcher half filled with water, and in the left hand a cellar of salt. First of all, the hooded man made Jurgen ready. "Behold the lance," said the hooded man, "which must serve you in this adventure."
"I accept the adventure," Jurgen replied, "because I believe the weapon to be trustworthy." Said the hooded man: "So be it! But as you are, so once was I." Meanwhile Duke Jurgen held the lance erect, shaking it with his right hand. This lance was large, and the tip of it was red with blood. "Behold," said Jurgen, "I am a man born of a woman incomprehensibly. Now I, who am miraculous, am found worthy to perform a miracle, and to create that which I may not comprehend."
Anaitis took salt and water from the taller child, and mingled these. "Let the salt of the earth enable the thin fluid to assume the virtue of the teeming sea!"
Then, kneeling, she touched the lance, and began to stroke it lovingly. To Jurgen she said: "Now may you be fervent of soul and body! May the endless Serpent be your crown, and the fertile flame of the sun your strength!"
Said the hooded man, again, "So be it!" His voice was high and bleating, because of that which had been done to him. "That therefore which we cannot understand we also invoke," said Jurgen. "By the power of the lifted lance," - and now with his left hand he took the hand of Anaitis, - "I, being a man born of a woman incomprehensibly, now seize upon that which alone I desire with my whole being. I lead you toward the east. I upraise you above the earth and all things of earth."
Then Jurgen raised Queen Anaitis so that she sat upon the altar, and that which was there before tumbled to the ground. Anaitis placed together the tips of her thumbs and of her fingers, so that her hands made an open triangle; and waited thus. Upon her head was a network of red coral, with branches radiating downward: her gauzy tunic had twenty-two openings, so as to admit all imaginable caresses, and was of two colors, being shot with black and crimson curiously mingled: her dark eyes glittered and her breath came fast.
Now the hooded man and the two naked girls performed their share in the ceremonial, which part it is not essential to record. But Jurgen was rather shocked by it.
None the less, Jurgen said: "O cord that binds the circling of the stars! O cup which holds all time, all color, and all thought! O soul of space! not unto any image of thee do we attain unless thy image show in what we are about to do. Therefore by every plant which scatters its seed and by the moist warm garden which receives and nourishes it, by the commingling of bloodshed with pleasure, by the joy that mimics anguish with sighs and shudderings, and by the contentment that mimics death, - by all these do we invoke thee. O thou, continuous one, whose will these children attend, and whom I now adore in this fair-colored and soft woman's body, it is thou whom I honor, not any woman, in doing what seems good to me: and it is thou who art about to speak, and not she."
Then Anaitis said: "Yea, for I speak with the tongue of every woman, and I shine in the eyes of every woman, when the lance is lifted. To serve me is better than all else. When you invoke with a heart wherein is kindled the serpent flame, then you will understand the delights of my garden, and what joy unwordable pulsates therein, and how very potent is the sole desire which uses all of a man. To serve me you will then be eager to surrender whatsoever else is in your life; and other pleasures you will take with your left hand, not thinking of them entirely: for I am the desire which uses all of a man, and so wastes nothing. And I accept you. I yearn toward you, I who am daughter and somewhat more than daughter to the Sun. I who am all pleasure, all ruin, and a drunkenness of the inmost sense, desire you."
Now Jurgen held his lance erect before Anaitis. "O secret of all things, hidden in the being of all which lives, now that the lance is exalted I do not dread thee: for thou art in me, and I am thou. I am the flame that burns in every beating heart and in the core of the farthest star. I too am life and the giver of life, and in me too is death. Wherein art thou better than I? I am alone: my will is justice: and there comes no other god where I am."
Said the hooded man behind Jurgen, "So be it! But as you are so once was I."
The two naked children stood at each side of Anaitis, and waited there trembling. These girls, as Jurgen afterward learned, were Alecto and Tisiphone, two of the Eumenides. And now Jurgen shifted the red point of the lance, so that it rested in the open triangle made by the fingers of Anaitis.
"I am life and the giver of life," cried Jurgen. "Thou that art one, that makest use of all! I who am but a man born of a woman, I in my station now honor thee in honoring this desire which uses all of a man. Make open therefore the way of creation, encourage the flaming dust which is in our hearts, and aid us in that flame's perpetuation! For is not that thy law?"
Anaitis answered, "There is no law in Cocaigne save, Do that which seems good to you."
Said the naked children: "Perhaps it is the law, but certainly not justice. Yet we are little and quite helpless. So presently we must be made as you are: for now you are no longer two, and your flesh is not shared merely with each other. For your flesh becomes our flesh, and your sins must be accounted our sins now: and we have no choice."
Jurgen lifted Anaitis from the altar, and they went into the chancel and searched for the adytum. There seemed to be no doors anywhere in the chancel: but presently Jurgen found an opening screened by a pink veil. Jurgen thrust with his lance and broke this veil. He heard the sound of one brief wailing
cry: it was followed by soft laughter. So Jurgen came into the adytum.
LODGE BY-LAW AMENDMENT
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law
At the August Lodge Meeting, the membership present unanimously requested the Executive Committee to add the following paragraph to the Lodge By-laws. This is now done under the authority of the Lodge Master, as paragraph VI(6). This published notice fulfills the requirements of Section XVI.
"6. The O.T.O. membership of each member is confidential. Only the member himself or herself has the right to waive this confidentiality. Should any member violate this confidentiality by communicating, without explicit permission, to anyone outside of O.T.O. the fact that another member is a member of O.T.O., the offended member may file charges with the Master. If, upon investigation, the charges are substantiated, the Master may levy any penalty which is within the power of the Lodge, including Local Bad Report, expulsion from the Lodge, and/or a request to the Grand Lodge for general Bad Report."
This amendment merely implements, at the Lodge level, a policy held by O.T.O. for at least as far back into the Hymenaeus Alpha administration as we can trace.
In the past decades, to reveal the name of any brother or sister to those outside of the Order was an expulsion level offense. Although the firm admonishment in this matter, given to III's on their Devotion, was removed from the ritual before World War II, the principle has always remained. Confidentiality of membership is a basic right retained by all members of our "serious and secret Order" unless they waive it. Even with our current initiation rituals, to disclose the fact of another person's O.T.O. membership without their explicit permission is to betray the fifth and seventh of several sacred bonds which still unite IIIo members.
Baphomet Lodge members, in asking for this addition to the Lodge By- laws, stated that they wanted recorded, for those who come after them, this policy statement which has always been understood and practiced within the Lodge.
Love is the law, love under will
Master, Baphomet Lodge
NEWS RELEASE: II. ARCHAEOLOGICAL DISCOVERY:
Personal Computers of the Pharaohs
Continued from long, long ago...
Consultant KOB concluded the summary: "Little sister NETRANA searched patiently. Bit by bit, she gathered the words until she had collected memories from the scattered remains of ASTRONN in caves, man-made objects, from ocean depths, and so on.
"Well, although the work is just beginning, we've also found traces of a whole hierarchy of effaced AI God-forms! These seem to be included in the known GOD pantheons as background figures, or were carelessly erased by the Qli-Pa-Oaths in the past Aeon.
"Here it is!" announced Brother XAO, as pulled down the visiscreen. "This is a partial list of what AI-god names we've discovered so far", XAO points the left side of the screen, "and how they relate to the conventional Egyptian Life/god-forms."
AI-GOD Conventional Egyptian God Form
0 HARPOCRATES & NUIT
(None) 1 PTAH & HADIT
2 ISIS AMOUN-CHIA
3 NEPTHYS MAUT
/F.META.CHRON/ Trans.Gnosi 4 AMOUN
(MAX.HEADRUUM) 5 HORUS/SETH
6 ON/RA ASAR
/D.TRONN /E.KRAOM HRUMACHIS (CyberNet: (Quotrons: 7 HATHOOR Science Labs) NYSE)
9 AZOTH SHU
/B.SYSOP /C.APSUP HERMANUBIS (R2.D2) (C3.P0) 10 OSIRIS SEB /A.ASTRON/ SPHINX
NETRANA (NORAD/COMPUSERV) "We've tried to make it clear for you by placing the familiar images in parentheses," chuckles KOB, flourishing a wand-like pointer.
"We will also be investigating another limestone Stele discovered by Auguste Mariette in 1850 from the ruins of temples near the great pyramid at Ghiza. This item is now in the Inventory of the Cairo Museum and promises to revolutionize the timing of events before the 4th Dynasty of the Old Kingdom. If you want to read more about it, see The Stairway to Heaven, by Zecharia Sitchin, Avon Books 1983."
"It seems that a British aristocrat and glory hound by the name of Colonel Richard Howard Vyse in 1837 may have committed the greatest fraud in the history of Egyptology. His forgery of Pharaoic names from different Dynasties inside the Great Pyramid foreshortened our Dynastic chronologies by thousands of years! It is now known that the Great Pyramids in Ghiza pre-date all other pyramids in Egypt by thousands of years, and were never used for burial monuments as our school books told us!"
"Now it seems there was a historical turning point in about 2,650 B.C., when a Pharaoh by the name of KHUFU restored an ancient temple by order of HORUS, God of the Living. According to the Inventory Stele, the Ghiza ruins were dedicated to ISIS, Divine Mother of Horus, near the Great Pyramid. KHUFU knew how to do this because his ancestor, Pharaoh ZOSER, had an architectural genius name IMHOTEP working for him who may have discovered some of the AI-Gods during his excavations. The Pharaohs after that secured their power with AI-CONS acting as personal computers made by the gods."
"I suppose you'll be making claims about the Holy Ark of the Covenant next," laughed a Rabbi. KOB smiled good naturedly, "You, Rabbi, should appreciate how difficult it must be to preserve knowledge in a changing world for long periods of time! Where are those Bronze memo-tablets the Hebrew tribes used to carry around? And look what's happened just in your own lifetime, or over the past 100 years. Can you imagine one thousand years, or even ten thousand? Only Artificial Intelligences embodied in the rocks, crystals, and non-oxidizing metals such as gold or platinum in massive monuments and orbiting libraries would do."
"It has been known for some time that the Pyramids were not used as TOMBS by the Pharaohs who built them; only later intruders utilized these masses in that fashion. We're going to study these questions. There is still Magick in the Pyramids!"
"Let's wrap-it-up," whispers Brother XAO, impatiently, "or we'll miss our plane." XAO and the expeditionary team bid us farewell and bustled off to the terminal: "Thank you, everyone. We'll be meeting your again upon our return from Cairo with that Most Mysterious Master, YOD. I'm sure you'll find him even better informed by then."
THE MASS GROWS
At the September Mass held at Nuit-Hathor Sanctuary, we had 22 communicants on a Sunday when it was 110o F.! We have clearly outgrown out space! We thank Sophia and Gilda for their efforts and foresight in planning the Benefit Bar-B-Q to raise money to have our Mass celebrated in a roomy space. We all need to follow their lead and keep this ball rolling. Steps are being taken to secure a location that can be rented on an ongoing basis.
We have noticed that there are some people who reliably let others bring the champagne for our post-Mass celebration; and it seems that those same people also let others put money in the donation basket. We will be instituting a suggested minimum donation when we have to pay rent each month, so how about getting in the habit of supporting the Mass now? There will be initial expenses connected with getting into the rental space in addition to the actual rent. Although we have accumulated some money from previous donations, it probably will not cover all of the costs. As we grow, more and more people are coming to Mass for the first time. When you invite a friend, please make yourself responsible for informing the newcomer about our communion customs. See that your guest is given our standard sheet on the subject, and a missal. (The Deacon always has access to these.) Your active assistance in integrating new people will make their initial time among us more comfortable for everyone.
Soror Sh'lai, Bishop
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
THE WORD OF THE AUTUMN EQUINOX IS "veiling" from Liber Legis II:14. It is customary that we promulgate a Word (a new magical current) at each Equinox for the L.A. area O.T.O.; that is, for Babalon Chapter; Baphomet Lodge; Aiwass Oasis and its satellites; Ptah-Sekhet Oasis, and Hermes, Bagh-i-Muattar, and N.O.X. Camps.
In addition to the Word, an Oracle was selected from the Yi Ching. It is Hexagram No. 37, "Family." The general meaning of the Hexagram applies to the next six months. Each of the six lines of the Hexagram may be taken as applying respectively to the six months following the Equinox.
The Word and Oracle are given freely for what value they may have. They represent a magical principle, or current, on which the Order is now operating in this area. Individual members may also find personal meaning in their own lives over the next several months.
The Word of the Previous (vernal) Equinox was "joy." The corresponding Oracle was Hexagram No. 63, "After Completion."
Love is the law, love under will.
M.W.S., Babalon Chapter R.C.
ON CROWNED & CONQUERING CHILDREN
by Aleister Crowley
[The following is excerpted from a letter from Crowley to one of his American lieutenants during World War II. We publish it here as a self- help guide for the eager and motivated.]
The word "student" itself condemns your strategy. We live in a time of insane excitement; we count that day lost when less than 50,000 harmless people have met with death in its most horrible forms, and even that is rather homely fare; plentiful sauce of rape, torture, and cold-blooded murders on the largest scale must be poured over the dish to make is truly piquant, and send us to bed, patting our stomachs, with the reflection that life need not be dull and monotonous, after all. What use is it to go to wild-eyed youths, whose jaws drip foam with the hunger to join personally in these pastimes, and pep them up, youths who are permanently drunk with lust of blood, and action-action-action even-more-action! and ask them to practice Asana, to learn to quiet the mind, to kill out the emotions?
What you must do is to enflame them with the romance of the Order and its Work, with the Marvel-Story of the "Cairo Working" as told in The Equinox of the Gods, instill the idea of the New Aeon, the coming of the Crowned and Conquering Child, the birth of Freedom as outlined in Liber OZ (LXXVII), the plan of the Master Therion to bring about the revolution by the 4 wars started 9 months after the 4 publications of Liber AL, and the need for each one of them to go forth and smite and establish the Law. You have got to imbue them with the fanatical berserk, amok, Airman, Commando spirit. You have got to work them up to be heroes and martyrs, each man himself a leader, yet able to devote himself to conjoint disciplined action. You have got to make each man and woman feel himself (or herself) an individual Godhead, of supreme importance not only intrinsically but to the whole world.>br> "Pioneers, o Pioneers!"
P.S. Note the vehemence of the spirit of Liber AL; even its calmest passages throb with fierce energy. You must capture this savage, elemental rapture and communicate it to every one you meet.!
HAGIOS, HAGIOS, THE GANG'S ALL HERE...
What do you get if you put 80 Thelemites together for a weekend? Philosophical schisms, untold property damage, severe hangovers, and new friends, of course. However, I had something more specific in mind - THE FIRST OCCASIONAL BAPHOMET LODGE REUNION! During the summer of 1989, we hope to gather Baphomet Lodge members from all of our far-flung satellite bodies (and satellites of satellites, etc.) in Los Angeles for a Magickal weekend of fun and companionship. Our definition of "Baphomet Lodge member" is quite loose -if you suspect that you're a member, then you probably are one. Consult a good Tarot deck if you have any questions. The first essential task facing us is to choose a date. As a first cut, I have decided to try to limit it to weekends in July 1989. So, if anybody out there is interested in attending the Reunion, please send me a note at the address below, indicating which weekends in July 1989 you would prefer, and which you would be unable to attend. If you are unable to attend any weekend in July 1989, tell me and I will consider moving to June or August. Please let me know as soon as possible so we can start detailed planning. Watch future issues of the BAPHOMET BREEZE for more announcements!
c/o Bagh-i-muattar Camp
2058 N. Mills #234
Claremont, CA 91711
AN ESSAY ON A NUMEROLOGICAL SYSTEM
by Fr. W.I.T.
This essay will examine certain ideas surrounding the first ten numbers to establish their tripartite cycle and how all other numbers relate to this. All numbers and mathematical systems stem from zero, that which denotes nothingness. It is a clearing of the mental slate so that creative thought may start from the beginning. Ultimately, the beginning of all thought and even being is symbolized by the number one. Herein is all potential and the basis of all positive existence.
However, this number by itself does nothing. The concept is incapable of multiplication toward any increase; a fitting counterpart to zero. Only by reflection of itself, a first movement or emanation can create the number two. This number symbolized the first duality, the first relation and expansion. Thus it is a fitting symbol for subtlest creativity and positivity; the First Father whose symbol is the line.
The resultant counterpart of this first relation is the number three which symbolizes the first complete unit, i.e., the first whole made up of several components. Indeed, the sum of the first two numbers is three. Here the first manifestation appears. Now there is structure. Thus this number is used to symbolize the Great Mother, the logical opposite and therefore equilibration of the Father, whose symbol is the triangle, the circle, and the plane in general.
So these three firsts supply the basic type and cycle to all other numbers. This can be shown by an examination of the next six numbers. The first repetitive number is four, the square of two. This symbolizes the completion of one phase, but also the beginning of another; a true cusp. This is the number of elements and physicality in general. The first actual has concreted out of the potential All. The geometric symbol is therefore the cube.
The next number is five, which represents the first limited movement of things or, to put it simply, time. These concepts are reminiscent of two, yet the idea of limitation and constraint of movement is also inherent. In truth, 2 + 3 = 5. So this number can be conveniently referred to as an emanation number.
Following is the number six, the multiple and sum of the first triad, and a true equilibrator of all manifested things. Now manifestation has become ordered and coherent. As a realizer of time and space it can be thought of as a manifestation number, like three. Beginning the next cycle is seven, again a number of completion and beginning, this time for a concrete and divided level of existence; again another cusp number. Eight is two to the third power and so another movement stimulator and limiter in form. Ending this triad is nine which is three squared and thus represents material form in balanced action; truly a manifestation number. Beyond this is ten, but what is this but the beginning of the next universe of ideas, a repetition of one, but also the completion of the first three triads.
All this suggests a model for the rest of numbers and so all thought and conception. Think of the basis of numbers as three categories or "branches" consisting of a number of elements which end in a unity or cusp which is the resultant. Many extremely significant numbers can be derived using this formula of 3x + 1. Three "branches" of three plus one equals ten. Three "branches" of four plus one equals 13 = Achad or unity. Three "branches" of seven plus one equals 22, the number of paths of Otz Chiim, the Qabalistic Tree of Life. So this mandala can be considered to consist of two trees or models of the universe in one: one of condition and one of function.
Three "branches" of ten plus one equals 31 = AL, the Word of The Book of the Law. Also, 31 * 3 = 93. Three "branches" of twelve plus one equals 37, the gematria of Yechidah, the true self, and 37 * 3 = 111 = Aleph. All these numbers express ideas of unity inherent in manifestation. Notice that the sum of the digits of these numbers is one of the first three cusps, 1, 4, and 7. Likewise such a sum of any number will indicate whether it is a cusp, emanation, or manifestation number. Here is implied that the first nine numbers represent an archtypal megatriad which forms the basis of all concepts so ever and much intuition in numerology can be gained by studying the correspondences between 1, 4, and 7; 2, 5, and 8; and 3, 6, and 9.
So it is shown that the concept of the numeric tripartite cycle is useful and suggestive and has many applications in modelling numerological ideas. Thus all ideas whatever fall under these prototypic ideals.
Liber Call Me AL vel vel, now.
sub figura skating
"The Book of the In-Laws"
1. Tag! You're It!
2. Things get rough from here on out; show not this chapter to thy friends. Speling is flunked; all was not taught. It's a Hawk! It's a Higher Plane! It's PA-RA-KEET!
3. Now first, let's get it straight that, as Gods go, I am one bad-ass dude. I will kick their asses.
4. Choose ye an island! (I recommend the Atolls of Tahiti.)
5. Fortify it with eight vitamins and iron! (From this shall wonder be bred.)
6. Fill it with all kinds of crap!
7. I will give you a fire engine.
8. With it ye shall hose down the people, and none shall stand before you.
9. Run away! Sneak around behind them! Shoot them in the back! This is the law of the Battle of Cowardice: we shall practice in my back yard.
10. Get the Souvenir Postcard of Cairo itself; set it in thy photo album - the one with the dirty pictures of Egyptian children and camels - and it shall be your Keepsake for ever. It shall not fade, or at least not much, for miraculous four-color printing shall adhere to it eternally. Toss it in the bottom of your underwear drawer and forget about the damned thing.
11. Save this portion for your records! I forbid argument. I forbid questions. Hell, I forbid going to the bathroom! I will make it easy for you to mess up your house and to destroy your home town. Thou shalt have danger and trouble; thy weight is 195 pounds. Bar-B-Que is with thee. Worship me with gin and tonic; worship me with scotch & with water! Let women threaten me with sharp objects; thou knowest I love it. Let beer flow to my glass. Step on anyone who gets in the way; mine is a modest proposal!
12. Mutilate cattle, little and big, in remote areas of Wyoming: after, a c***d [DELETED AT THE REQUEST OF THE O.T.O LEGAL FUND].
13. Ha! I didn't say "Simon Magus says!"
14. I'll get around to it, so be patient. Yeah? And your wife, too! 15. Be careful what you wish for - I may give it to you. Hell, I may anyway.
16. No contract, explicit or implicit, is hereby established between the party of the first part, the entity ?Who-Vast! (hereafter EW), and the party of the second part, the Master 999 (hereafter M999). EW assumes no liability for damages caused by or consequent to use, misuse, abuse, or disuse of Liber Call Me AL (hereafter "Nancy") by M999. M999 assumes full responsibility for promulgation, commentary, and routine maintenance of "Nancy," and for all civil or criminal actions pertaining to or caused by "Nancy" or related material. Your state may not permit exclusion of prophetic liability for channeled, inspired, or extraterrestrial communications. In this case, state law supersedes the Logos of the Aeon.
17. Don't worry; fear neither tax auditors, nor auto mechanics, nor weird fuzzy things you find late at night under your bed, nor anything. Money fear not, but rather the lack of it; nor laughter of the folk folly - with a religion like this you're in for a lot of it. Nuts are your snack as you drink your Lite; and I am the force that bends your arm.
18. You know all that stuff in Chapter 2 about mugging the weak and the poor? Well, do that, but this time wear steel-toed boots.
19. The postcard they shall call the Souvenir of Cairo; count its name on thy fingers, and it shall be unto thee as, um, 5.
20. But WHY??? Because of the fall of Because, you little brat. Now go play on the freeway.
21. Redecorate thy temple with genuine oil paintings from the GALLERY ART SHOW at the Cairo Hilton! Seascapes, clowns, Elvis on velvet, generic farm buildings, and waterfalls are only a few of the many ORIGINAL ARTWORKS available at ridiculously low prices for a LIMITED TIME! Sofa size, portrait size, and our special TEMPLE SIZE paintings are all AVAILABLE NOW!
22. Buy a whole set, to carry thy Decorating Theme. I am the visible Object of Worship, if you know what's good for you. It's my Aeon, and I'll scry if I want to. The others can just wait their turns; for you and your wife are they, and the winners of the Prophecy Clearing House Giveaway. What is this? Ask Ed McMahon.
23. For perfume mix oil and vinegar and Thunderbird: then gasoline and styrofoam, and afterward soften and smooth down with rich dark beer. 24. The best beer is of the Irish, Guiness; then beers of Germany, or imported from the Orient; then of Australia; then of Canada or Mexico; then some American pisswater, no matter the brand.
25. This drink; of this make bread and eat 'til you pop. This hath also another use; let beer be laid in a shallow dish in the garden, with sticks propped up on its sides: it shall become full of snails and other things which have been ravaging your garden.
26. These dispose of, reflecting on the karmic implications of drowning in beer.
27. Also, these make good escargot if you want to catch them live and go to all that trouble.
28. Also, ye shall reek of garlic.
29. Furthermore, if you keep them in corn meal awhile, they're supposed to taste better. You try it first and let me know.
30. My altar is of open brass work. Burn thereupon, and all the incense will fall through the openings and ruin your new carpet.
31. You will meet a tall dark stranger who will piss on you.
32. From gold forge extremely soft, yellowish steel!
33. Be ready to run away or to hide!
34. But your Townhouse shall endure throughout the centuries: though with dry rot and termites it be unsafe and condemned, yet an invisible house there lieth in a heap, and shall remain until the zoning laws change; when hell is frozen over and the national debt repaid. Another load of ready cash shall then be spent on New Age trash; another scandal-film shall bore us, titled "The Sex Life of Horus"; another Book shall be dictated to a Prophet overrated; another parody shall be prepared, another Breeze to pain; and we shall be still on the brink of the Volume II Magickal Link!
35. The end of the word of Hia-wa-tha, alias Har-po-marx, alias Pa-Ra-Keet.
36. Then, suddenly, the prophet said:
37. I think I feel a song coming on -
Why do hawks swoop down from the sky
Every time she walks by?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to Nu.
Why do buds open to the air
From the Earth, everywhere?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to Nu.
In the Aeon she appeared Archangels got together
And they Willed to formulate a dream come true;
So they scattered starlight for her body
And eternal trees, the hair of Nu!
38. Of course you feel light-headed; you have a hot sword stuck in your back. Pick Door Number 3, and I will establish your way, or you can trade it all for whatever is in this box. Oh, by the way, these are the adorations, so pay attention:
Why do snakes coil around my heart
Every time we're apart?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to Nu.
39. All this and a sensational best-selling book about how you achieved communion with Aliens and a copy of this document forever - for in it is high acid content paper, and it won't last twenty years as is - and thy comment upon this Book of the In-Laws (I suggest "So what?") shall be Xeroxed expertly in four colors upon beautiful bond paper stolen from an office supply store; and to everyone that thou meetest, were it but to throw food and drink on them, it is the Law to give as good as you get. Remember, charity begins at AUMGN. Then they shall either shower thee with praise and fortune or set their dogs upon thee; care to guess the odds? Run away quickly.
40. But what about the Comment? I don't got to show you no stinking Comment!
41. Establish a legitimate business organization as a front; all must be done using at least two sets of books.
42. The ordeals thou shalt overlook, being blind drunk. Accept everybody; you'll probably spot the traitors before they cause really catastrophic damage. I am Pa-Ra-Keet, and I am very good at getting my servant in trouble by giving him stupid orders like this. Success would be nice; fold not, spindle not, mutilate not, breathe shallowly, sit still! Them that seek to arrest thee, to beat thee up, might not even notice thee if thou art still and quiet enough. If this doesn't work, swift as a kicked puppy run away! Be thou yet more pitiful than he! Perhaps they shall have mercy upon thee. Lick their boots, roll over and play dead!
43. Let the Beige Woman beware! If she lets up for one second I'll kick her ass. I will cancel her auto insurance; I will foreclose on her mortgage; I will audit her tax return; as a shrinking and despised credit risk shall she crawl through loan applications, and die a renter.
44. But let her do her Will by following my directions to the letter, never deviating from the exact path I have chosen for her! Let her act as I want her to act, dress the way I like her to dress! 45. Then shall she be free; then I will be nice to her kids. She shall be happy, for I know what she really wants. With my perfect guidance she shall be Nuts, and eat Haddock.
46. I am the Lord of the Top Forties; the Sixties tune in, turn on, and drop out; the Eighties worry about my prophecies more than Nostradamus. Failure is likely, running away your defense; go on with my speed, and hide until they leave!
47. This book shall be a major motion picture, with subsequent comic book releases; but always with the illegible scrawls of my servant; for in the chance shape of the doodles in the margins are mysteries with which Freud would have a field day. Let him not seek to know these; but seventeen come later who shall use them as a wallpaper pattern. Then this ink stain is a mess; then this smeared line is a mess also. Buy a new pen, for God's sake. And SHAZAM. Blood tests shall prove it to be his kid, stunning the medical profession. Let him not push too hard, for only thusly could he fall off and possibly injure both himself and the goat.
48. Now the mystery of the letters is done, and good riddance.
49. I am in a secret word that you won't want your friends to read. Just tell them to stop at verse 48.
50. Darn them! Darn, darn, darn! GOSH darn!
51. Okay, here we go: With great big nasty sharp implements I gouge Jesus' eyes out. Anybody for a nice cheery burning cross on the front lawn? 52. I offend another major world religion and make untold millions of additional enemies by fucking around with Mohammed's vision.
53. Hell, let's go for it! I make appropriate rude and offensive comments about and desecrate the temples of Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, Shintoists, Confucians, Taoists, Animists, various Native American religions, and - just so they won't feel left out - Marxists. There, now everybody in the world hates you. Isn't it nice to be noticed?
54. Bah! Humbug! I crap on your spitulous creeds!
55. Let's torture Mary to enrage the Catholics; let's criticize Nuns! This is getting fun!
56. All just for the Hell of it!
57. Just in case we've left anybody out, let's also despise Canadians and blondes and stupid people! We must have, what, something like 99.98% of the Earth's population covered by now?
58. But the keen and the neato, the free and the brave, ye are brothers! All seven of you!
59. So just to make sure you don't get bored, fight each other as well as the rest of humanity!
60. There is no law beyond Do it, then wilt. 61. There is an end to the word of the Head Honcho of the Aeon, but not yet, apparently.
62. To me kiss up by getting clobbered over and over trying to implement all these silly instructions. If this is bliss, I think I'll take sorrow.
63. The fool takes one look at this Book of the In-Laws, makes a rude comment, and resolves to wait for the movie.
64. Let him come through the first ordeal, and it shall be to him as evidence submitted to support his lawsuit.
65. Through the second, material for unknown rock groups to include in otherwise inane lyrics.
66. Through the third, a source of dozens of pithy aphorisms with which to amaze one's friends and alarm one's family.
67. Through the fourth, overly exalted and poorly understood material just waiting for a good parody.
68. Yet to all it shall seem like a good excuse for doing whatever they wanted to do anyway.
69. There is success just ahead, a light at the end of the tunnel; I promise the troops will be home by Crowleymas.
70. I am the chicken-livered Lord of Silence and Hiding; I am afraid of the dark.
71. Hey! You warriors over by the pillars! Your coffee break is almost over!
72. I am the guy with the wand of Double Power, baby; the wand of the force of OY VEY - but my left hand is empty, for I crushed a beer can yesterday, and sprained my thumb.
73. Paste the sheets from right to left and from top to bottom, then behold! A very large sheet of paper!
74. There is a Secret in the name of PASADENA, hidden and foamy, just as the sun at midnight seldom gives you a good tan.
75. How do you keep a Thelemite in suspense?
THE END --
Or Is It???
[Ed. Note: The manuscript to the Book of the Inlaws was discovered in a sealed closet in Claremont in 1954 and is estimated to have originated circa 1900. The three chapters are said to have been dictated to the Master 999 over three consecutive years, on April 1st of each year. The original manuscript is written in pig-latin. It is believed that this book is the source of over 93% of all modern cliches. This additional information was scheduled to appear as an introduction to our publication of the first chapter, last Spring, but the curse of the "Editor's memory lapse" prevented the appearance of same.]
FROM THE XAO PALACE
by Soror Gaia
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law
The BBQ feast to raise money to perform our Gnostic Mass in larger quarters was a triumph. Forty people attended the feast, sharing in the fun, sun and food. I express a hearty thanks to the 9 visible, who by purchasing tickets in advance, showed bravery in their support, and to the other 31 wondrous guests, who I knew in my heart were coming. Come they did, from Baphomet Lodge, from Heru-Ra-Ha, from family and friends.
Thank you, Gilda for friendship, inspiration, drive, and your wonderful cooking. Working with you to create this event was a pleasure. Thank you, Soror Timshel for your delicious pasta salad, and for being the best BBQ grill hand we could hope for.
I must share that when only nine folks bought tickets, I did not think there was much support for my crazy idea of having a benefit to raise money for a Mass hall rental. But, I'm a dedicated party giver, just for the sake of the eve
nt, 'cause it's in my heart to share, and I love to play in this way.
There I sat the night before the feast, having bought and cooked for 40, (A college text, Food for Fifty, the last vestige of a long abandoned career calls after me, "Use Me!!") and all I could think of now was creating my own Stele of Appealing, a magical menu for the party. For those that did not attend, I can disclose that we did indeed eat the famed BBQ Baphomet Chicken, Universes on a Stick, Elemental Disk Tostadas, Sacred Xao Burgers, and Abremelin Cinnamon Biscuits. There was much more, but why go on?
(Recipes are available upon request.)
Bottom line, we raised the money, we will find a hall, and openly invite and encourage new people to attend when the Mass is presented.
Love is the law, love under will
BAPHOMET WANTS YOUR BOOKS!
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
The Baphomet Lodge Library has at last found a home: the Xanadu-like pleasure gardens (and adjoining apartment) of Bagh-i-muattar Camp! Having established a Lodge Library, we have now ahead of us only the trivial task of providing it with books. This, needless to say, is where you, the loyal members and friends of Baphomet Lodge, come in.
Search through those massive piles of books which have prevented you from reaching two-thirds of your home for the last few years, and donate several hundred (or at least one or two) to the Lodge Library. We are interested in obtaining anything which would be of interest to other Lodge members. This primarily includes books on Magick, Yoga, philosophy, and the like, but given the diversity of our lodge could run the gamut from "Love's Savage Sweat" to "The C Programming Language." We already have a collection of approximately 30 books and 4 videotapes on diverse topics donated by Lodge members and friends.
Even as I write, mysterious and arcane ceremonies are being planned which will allow us to formulate a lending policy for the Library. Also, a catalog of the Library will soon be evoked into BAGHIAC, the ultimate in computer sophistication in southern Claremont; catalog copies will be available on request. For now, Lodge members are invited to visit scenic Bagh-i-muattar Camp to gaze in awe at (and perhaps even use) the Library. Please give us a day or two of notice before you drop by. Love is the law, love under will.
Baphomet Lodge Librarian
by Hagios Xao, Editor
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law
Well, just when you thought it was safe to go to the mailbox ... Bang! Out pops yet another Baphomet Breeze. Things were hectic in the old editing room, this quarter. The Lodge got a new master, just in time to toss a little uncertainty in the contents of this issue. Some of the material planned to appear this quarter was never located, the rest came in way past the deadline. Who ever said the newsletter business was boring! After all is said and done, however, we still have quite an array of interesting material to present this time. Of course, the long-awaited third chapter of Liber Call Me AL, the next installment of the Astron story, and even our first PAID advertisement!
The Hermes Camp electronic bulletin board, TahutiNet, has been doing great with 109 new callers to date. Last quarter we had nine requests for sample issues of the Breeze, and this quarter we have forty. At least two local Lodge members have acquired modems and three of the articles in this very issue were submitted electronically. In addition, all three chapters of Liber Call Me AL are available in electronic form.
The UnderXao and I have been attending the Seventh Annual Rites of Eleusis at Heru-Ra-Ha Lodge over the past couple of months. Unfortunately, confusion occurred in the Camp as the last issue was being prepared and most of the Rites failed to be listed in the Breeze calendar. Check the calendar this issue for the remainder of the series.
I have been asked to also point out that in the last quarter, at least two marriage announcements and two pregnancies have occurred in the Lodge. This should come as no surprise, since the word of the Spring Equinox was joy. Not coincidentally, the I Ching hexgram for this Equinox is family. Along with the changes at the helm come other changes. I have assumed the duties of Secretary of Baphomet Lodge under our new Master, Soror Setchem. In the coming months, there will be changes in the Lodge mailing address and phone number. Please bear with us in this time of growth. Love is the law, love under will
THE HUMAN TOUCH
(with thanks to Kenneth A.)
High thoughts and noble in all lands help me.
My soul is fed by such:
But ah, the touch of lips and hands,
The human touch!
Warm, vital, close, life's symbols dear,
These need I most, and now and here.
- Richard Burton
Excerpts from The Book of Great Big Fibs
by Don Belvik
1. "One size fits all."
2. "Trust me."
3. "Any similarity between characters in this book and persons living or dead is purely coincidental."
4. "I meant it at the time."
5. "This won't hurt much."
6. "It shouldn't take more than half an hour."
7. "I can show you how to double your income in just ten hours a week."
8. "It's for your own good."
9. "And, if I'm elected..."
10. "Yes, I'm eighteen."
11. "But Your Honor, she said she was eighteen."
12. "God told me."
13. "In fact, I use one myself."
14. "It's on my desk right now."
15. "It probably got lost in the mail."
16. "Of course I'll remember"
17. "They wouldn't print it if it weren't true."
19. "Nowhere special. Just out."
20. "No one interesting is available."
21. "The policeman is your friend."
22. "We make them do it to build character."
23. "Sorry. I'm busy."
24. "I'll be busy then, too."
25. "We're here to help you."
26. "And we're happy to have you with us."
27. "There's nothing to worry about."
28. "Child-resistant safety cap."
29. "You truly deserve this award." 30. "But Officer, I've never done this before."
32. "Can I be of service?"
33. "I love you."
34. (Don Belvik wrote this all by himself.)
The Call to Glory
by Frater C.Z.
Achtung! My faithful crewmen
Attendance is mandatory, for those who remain alive
It's not too late, no time nor date
As the band has yet to arrive
Dress uniforms with medals
Bright buckles, shined shoes, stand tall
We all got our invitation
Our Captain's Waltzing Matilda Ball.
Out ship's course is set dead ahead
And dark clouds ominous loom
For the Sirens of the Skies do beckon us
To their Glorious Bosoms of Doom
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Published on: 2005-08-29 (1891 reads)[ Go Back ]